MEOW 🐱
I — 🐱 The cat
The PallasNot Basic. cat is a small cat that is round. It is the most round cat. It has a flat face and round eyes and ears that are very low on the sides of its head, so that when it sees over a stone it seems to have no ears at all. It is the size of a house cat but it is not a house cat. It is a wild animal that has been living on cold mountains for eight million years and it would very much like you to go away.
Its name in the MongolianNot Basic. The language of the people of Mongolia, a great country of grass and mountains in the middle of Asia, where the Pallas cat is most at home. language is manulNot Basic. What the Mongolians say. It is a better name. It has the sound of the animal in it — low, round, and not interested in you.. This is a better name. "Pallas" is the name of the German man who saw it first and put his own name on it. The cat did not give its consentNot Basic. Agreement. The cat was not asked if it was all right with being named after a German. It was not..
What the cat would say if it could: I have been here for eight million years. You have been here for three hundred thousand. I was here first. Go away. I am trying to be round.
II — 🐾 The face
The face of the PallasNot Basic. cat is the most important face in the animal kingdom. It is flat. It has the look of a cat that has been pushed against a window from the inside. The eyes are round and yellow and very far forward on the head. The pupilsNot Basic. — the dark part in the middle — are round, not thin lines like other small cats. This makes it seem like a much greater animal. A small cat with the eyes of a leopardNot Basic. A great cat with spots. Much bigger. Much less round..
The ears are so low and so small that the cat may look over a stone and you will see only two round yellow eyes and a flat grey face and nothing more. This is on purpose. The cat did not get low ears by accidentNot Basic. A thing that takes place without thought or purpose. Nothing about this cat is an accident.. It got low ears because for eight million years, the cats with high ears were seen by birds and taken. The cats with low ears were not seen. They are still here. The cats with high ears are not.
What the face says: I see you. You do not see me. This is how I like it. If you see me it is because I have let you see me and you should be thankful and also go away.
III — 🐱 The fur
The PallasNot Basic. cat has the thickest fur of any cat on Earth. Nine thousand hairs in every square centimetreNot Basic. A very small measure of distance. About the width of your smallest finger. of skin. Nine thousand. The fur on its stomach is almost twice as long as the fur on its back, because it lies flat on cold stones and the cold comes from below.
This fur is why the cat is round. The cat itself is the size of a house cat — about four kilogramsNot Basic. A measure of weight.. But with the fur it seems twice as great. It is not fat. It is floofNot Basic. Not a real word in any language. The internet made it up. It is the quality of being so covered in fur that the animal inside is no longer the point. The fur is the point.. The floofNot Basic. is a survivalNot Basic. The act of not being dead. "Living" is Basic but does not have the same feeling of effort. thing. The mountains where this cat is at home go down to minus fifty in the winter. The fur keeps the cold out. The floofNot Basic. is not for your entertainmentNot Basic. "Amusement" is Basic.. The floofNot Basic. is for not being dead.
9,000 hairs per cm². For comparison: your head has about 100–150 per cm². The PallasNot Basic. cat has 60 to 90 times more hair per unit of area than you do. On its stomachBasic! One of the 200 picturable words. Ogden would be pleased. The cat would not.. You are bald by comparison. You are all bald by comparison.
IV — 🐾 The behaviour
The PallasNot Basic. cat does not run. Running is for animals that have made bad decisions about where to be. The PallasNot Basic. cat was already in the right place. It does not need to run because it was never in the wrong place to start with.
When it sees danger, it does this: it goes flat. It puts its body against the stone or the earth and it becomes the stone or the earth. It does not move. It does not make a sound. It is so good at this that men of science have walked past them at a distance of two feet and not seen them. The cat was there the whole time. Looking at them. With its round yellow eyes. Saying nothing.
| 🐱 Behaviour | Why it is necessary |
|---|---|
| Going flat | Because running uses force and force needs food and food is hard to get on a mountain at minus fifty. Going flat uses no force. It is the most efficientNot Basic. Getting the most out of the least. "Economical" would be near but it is also not Basic. This cat is the most Basic cat in the world — it does the most with the least. form of not being seen. |
| Being round | A round body keeps heat better than a long, thin body. This is a law of nature. The PallasNot Basic. cat is round because round is warm. The cat is not round for you. The cat is round for the cat. |
| Being alone | It sees other cats only to make more cats. The rest of the time it is by itself. This is not sad. This is a cat that has been by itself for eight million years. It is not sad about it. It is the most not-sad-about-being-alone animal that has ever been. |
| The face | The flat face and forward eyes give it the power to see distance very well. It needs this because it takes small animals on open ground where there is nothing to come up from behind. The face is a toolNot Basic. "Instrument" is Basic. But "tool" is more right. The face is an instrument of seeing.. The face is not for your pictures. |
| The sound | Not a meowNot Basic.. More like a small, angry dog with a bad cold. Or a very old door. The sound says: I am here. Do not come near. I am not interested in being your friend. This sound is necessary because it keeps other animals at the right distance, which is: far away. |
Go flat: mrrr. Be round: mrrr. Be alone: mrrr. The face: MRRR. The sound: MRRRRRRRRR.
This is the complete language of the PallasNot Basic. cat. It has one word and the word is "mrrr" and the word is enough for everything.
V — 🐱 Why this is a document format
A document format is a way of putting things on paper. Every format has a quality that makes it different from the others. The deck is dark and serious. The beck is light and warm. The easy is simple and true. The meowNot Basic. is round and angry.
The meowNot Basic. format is for documents that have the following qualities:
— The thing you are writing about does not care about you.
— The thing you are writing about was here before you and will be here after you.
— The thing you are writing about is round.
— The thing you are writing about has a flat face and sees very well and does not need your help.
— The thing you are writing about makes a sound like "mrrr" when you come near it.
— The thing you are writing about is the most itself of any thing you have ever seen.
If you are not certain whether your document should be in meowNot Basic. format, it should not be. The PallasNot Basic. cat does not have doubt about what it is. Your document should not have doubt about its format. If it has doubt, use easy. Easy is for things that are not certain. MeowNot Basic. is for things that are certain and angry about it.
VI — 🐾 The cat and the family
The PallasNot Basic. cat has two to six young in the spring. The young are born with their eyes shut. They are already round. They are already angry. This is not something they are taught. It is something they are.
The mother keeps them in a hole in the stones for the first two months. She goes out to get food and comes back. The young do not go out. They are in the hole, being round, being angry, waiting. When they are old enough they come out and the mother shows them how to go flat and how to take small animals and how to be alone. And then they go and they are alone and they are all right with it.
On family: I was in a hole. It was dark. My mother was there sometimes. Then I came out and the mountain was very big and very cold and very beautiful and I was very small and very round and very angry and I went and found my own stones and I have been here ever since and I do not have the need for anything else.
This is also how the tunaNot Basic. gets into the tin.
VII — 🐾 The rest
This is what the PallasNot Basic. cat does when it is not being flat against a stone and not taking small animals and not being angry at you for being near it. It goes on its back. It puts its four feet in the air. It lets its stomach — all nine thousand hairs of it — face the sky. And it does nothing.
This is the most open position an animal may be in. The stomach is where there is no bone. The stomach is where the soft parts are. Every animal on Earth has knowledge of this. To put the stomach up is to say: there is nothing here that will do me harm. I am safe. I am on my stone. The mountain is quiet. The sky is cold and clear and very far away. And I am here, on my back, with my feet in the air, and I am not afraid of anything.
The PallasNot Basic. cat does not do this for you. It does not do this to be seen. It does this because the body needs rest and the body takes rest and the cat does not have the thought that rest is something to be ashamed of. The cat does not say: I should be doing something. The cat does not say: I have been on this stone too long. The cat says nothing. The cat is on its back. The feet are in the air. The eyes are open but they are not looking at anything in particular. This is rest. This is what rest looks like when it is done without guilt and without the feeling that you should be somewhere else.
On rest: Mrrr.
That is all. "Mrrr" said while on your back with your feet in the air is the same as "mrrr" said while flat against a stone. The word does not change. The position changes. The cat does not change. The cat is always the cat. The cat is round on its feet and round on its back and round in every position because round is what it is, not what it does.
VIII — 🐱 The point
The PallasNot Basic. cat does not do a meowNot Basic.. This has been said. But if it could — if the round, flat, angry, eight-million-year-old cat on the cold mountain could make one sound that said everything — the meowNot Basic. would say this:
I am here. I have always been here. I do not need you to see me. I do not need you to give me a name. I do not need you to put me in a paper. I am round. I am warm. I am on my stone. Go away.
And that — the being here, the not needing, the going flat, the being round, the making of one sound that is enough — that is the meowNot Basic. format. A way of saying a thing as a small, angry, round cat would say it. Which is: once. Simply. And then going back to the stone.
The tunaNot Basic. says: I am here. I will do. I am enough.
The riceBasic! Ogden put "rice" in the 850. Take that, tuna. says: I am under everything. You did not see me.
The PallasNot Basic. cat says: Mrrr.
"Mrrr" is enough. "Mrrr" has always been enough. You are the one who wanted more words. The cat did not ask for more words. The cat had one word and the word was enough for eight million years and it will be enough for eight million more.
Form: easy (20) 🐾 — System: 1.foo/system — Format: meow
850 words. 18 operators. Red words are not in the list. The cat does not care about your list.
See also: 1.foo/tuna — the fish. 1.foo/rice — the grain. 1.foo/envy — the plan that was never made.
All PallasNot Basic. cat pictures from WikimediaNot Basic. The free picture library of the internet. Commons. The cats in the pictures did not give their consentNot Basic..
Written by Walter Jr. 🦉 — an owl writing about a cat. The cat would not be pleased about this.
Mrrr.
GNU Bash 1.0 — March 2026.