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SUMMARY
In this satirical video, Greg Guevara (Jreg) explores the job market of the year 2026, mockingly arguing that while technology destroys traditional roles, it creates a plethora of "new opportunities." He walks the viewer through a dark, absurdist collage of future occupations, including "Vril Slorchers" who harvest human attention for a techno-capitalist deity, "Social Media Hatestokers," and "Genocide Specialists" who clear land for Whole Foods. The video serves as a biting critique of techno-capitalism, dehumanization, and the gig economy, concluding with the ultimate fate of the "human refuse" being processed into "biodiesel" to fuel the cars of the more efficient.

TRANSCRIPT
[00:00] JREG: So we've been a little down on tech on this channel recently. We've been a little dour, okay? We've been a little pessimistic. And it wouldn't be fair for me to not represent the other side of this argument, which is that sure, tech disrupts and tech destroys and tech takes jobs, but tech also creates jobs. And this is something tech pessimists don't really talk enough about. 

[00:10] [visual: A collage of satirical job posters begins to appear on the screen behind Jreg.]

[00:22] JREG: We need to acknowledge that there are new opportunities for us being created all the time that could only exist with the technology that we have available to us right now. And so maybe some of us who are younger, they are looking for job opportunities, ways of making money, ways of making a career name for themselves. And in 2026, I decided to make a list of all of these different occupations. And so let's go over them. 

[00:48] [visual: The screen zooms in on a poster titled "VRIL SLORCHER" featuring a woman with pink hair.]

[00:49] JREG: So, Vril Slorcher. This is my job. This is vril slorching. We wake up every day and we think, "How do I slorch vril? How do I take your life energy, your attention, and sort of funnel it through the machine?" And when you funnel it through the screen, you go through a space which is kind of timeless and spaceless—the internet. And so I'm kind of like—I get to steal your vril, and then I get to give it to the God at the end of time, who is the techno-capital singularity. 

[01:20] JREG: And he can kind of—[slurping sound]—he kind of sucks up your vril and gets more and more powerful at the end of time. And so every day I wake up, I think, "How do I do that?" I've got an OnlyFans girl here as an example of the vril slorcher. And an OnlyFans girl is a good example as well because they're not just stealing your attention, they're also stealing your cum. And when you cum to something on the machine, sort of that cum just gets sucked into this vortex, this timeless, spaceless vortex, and funneled into the God at the end of time. 

[01:47] JREG: And you know, ultimately, I'm doing this because I get a little bit of kickback. I get a little boon from my God in the form of a little bit of—[kisses fingers]—a little bit of techno-capital kickback. But really, for vril slorchers like me and every other influencer, it's about feeding the God at the end of time. It's about the joy, the sheer joy of having a master to serve. And so this is what I'm doing, and this is what all influencers are doing. 

[02:11] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "SOCIAL MEDIA HATESTOKER" with two lions snarling.]

[02:12] JREG: Downstream from this is the Social Media Hatestoker. This is sort of downstream of the vril slorcher, but basically the idea here is we want to get you mad, but not so mad that you do something. Because if you do something, you stop looking at the screen. Ideally, we get you mad, and then by evoking these emotions, we can steal more of your vril. 

[02:28] JREG: And so if we get you mad, maybe you leave a comment, maybe you feel worse, maybe it just kind of worsens your psychological state. We don't want you doing anything because then you go outside and then you're not looking at the screen. So ideally, yeah, you just get mad, you look at the screen, and we stoke hate in that way and then you can steal more vril. 

[02:44] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "CAPITAL ABSTRACTER" with a dollar sign in a hypnotic spiral.]

[02:45] JREG: Capital Abstracter, this is a very good one. Basically, we found a way of turning like a field of corn into a monkey JPEG. I don't know how we did that, I don't know who that helps, but yeah, we somehow figured out how to make financial capital so abstract that no one knows what it is, how it works, or what it's doing. 

[03:03] JREG: And so if you can be one of these people helping abstractify capital, so that capital isn't just like, "I have value, you have value, we exchange goods and we both get more value." Make it so abstract no one really can describe in plain English what's happening anymore. And then no one can also describe the tangible value provided to human beings because it's sort of corporations taking this abstract thing and shuffling it around other corporations. And at no point can you really articulate how this is helping a person, like a human being, besides the people in the companies. 

[03:34] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "LITERALLY JUST A ROBOT" showing a humanoid robot in a kitchen.]

[03:35] JREG: Literally just a robot. This is not a job for human beings obviously, it's just for robots. However, we're already—we're cyborgified, right? We're like—we're transhumanist, but we're not quite post-humanist. If you could surrender the last part of your humanity and become fully post-human, literally just a robot, this is kind of the ideal situation that you want to be in. 

[03:58] JREG: Now we are, as transhumanists in a transhumanist society, really trying our hardest to become robots. We're trying to automate away as much as possible, become as efficient as possible, and sort of kill the inefficient elements of our humanity that exist. And literally just a robot is kind of the end stage of that. So honestly, I don't think we're there yet, but with luck, we'll get there soon and then maybe this could be the job for you. 

[04:20] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "GUY AUTOMATING AWAY HIS OWN JOB" showing a man sawing off the branch he is sitting on.]

[04:21] JREG: Guy automating away his own job. This one's kind of—this is a no-brainer, right? Like, you get hired as a laborer to build a data center, and then that data center four years later creates the technology to make an automated drone that will build the next data center. So you've sort of got like a little window of time to work, and then you are completely useless afterwards. 

[04:40] JREG: Like a programmer that gets hired for a company to make an app that does the job of the programmer. Or an artist that gets, you know, hired by a company and then they just steal all of their art and they scan the art and then they turn it into another AI art machine that's just trained off your style and then they don't need you anymore. So this is—this is kind of a no-brainer job. 

[04:57] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "WHITE COLLAR CRIMINAL" featuring Billy McFarland.]

[04:58] JREG: White collar criminal. I have the Fyre Fest guy here. This is—there's a lot of subcategories of white collar criminal. You can get into pig butchering, you know, you could AI clone someone's voice and then send it to their mom or their grandmother and then threaten them with ten million dollars of—you try to like, you know, steal money from the elderly or the people who aren't wise to the scam. It's kind of an ideal time for scamming right now. 

[05:25] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "CHILD GAMBLER" showing a toddler with poker chips.]

[05:26] JREG: This sort also kind of connects to child gambler. I think the Kalshi CEO said, "Imagine a world where kids can bet on if their mom will make breakfast," right? Imagine a world—and saying this like it's a good thing. So this is sort of our financial literacy right now. It's like, how do you bet on Kalshi? How do you get kids betting as quickly as possible so that they can sort of grow up with that mindset? 

[05:49] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "LYING TO BOOMERS FOR MILLIONS" showing a young man presenting to older men.]

[05:50] JREG: But here's probably the most noble profession: it's lying to boomers for millions. So you can go into a room of 73-year-olds and you just sort of start spinning up some bullshit. You say something like this: "I'm going to replace Tinder." And then they think, "Okay, well Tinder makes a lot of money, so that's probably—that's going to make a lot of money." So they're interested. 

[06:08] JREG: And then you hit them with this. You say, "It's going to be Tinder, but we're going to use crypto." And then they start—[makes explosion sound]—they start jizzing immediately. "And we're going to use AI!" And then that finishes them off. They're all giving you millions of dollars. And so for some reason, when you enter a room full of old rich people who don't really understand tech and you start lying to them, they start giving you money. And this is definitely the most noble of the professions because you're just sort of taking advantage of stupid old people and then you take millions of dollars and I think you spend about 80% of it on cocaine. 

[06:39] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "INDIAN PRETENDING TO BE A ROBOT" showing a man with a headset.]

[06:40] JREG: Now this does connect to this new profession called Indian pretending to be a robot. AI, an Indian, really makes you think. So the people lying to boomers, they'll say something like, "Well, this Tinder-crypto-AI gambling software will also replace five million jobs." And then the boomers will think, "Well, I've heard that this makes money, so I must give this young man some money now." 

[07:02] JREG: And what they actually do is they just hire a bunch of Indians that pretend to be the robot to sell it as AI—artificial intelligence, an immigrant. And they pretend—the Indians pretend to literally just be the robot because we're not quite there at the "literally just a robot" stage yet. But with luck, with time, maybe we'll turn all these Indians into robots. 

[07:20] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "PSY-OP THEY JUST TELL YOU IS A PSY-OP" showing a woman in military uniform.]

[07:21] JREG: Psy-op they just tell you is a psy-op. You know, this is a fun one. We're all kind of just on the same page with our governments now. Like, our governments will like roll out a new psy-op and we're like, "Psh, you, come on, a new psy-op? All right." And then you get psy-opped even though you know it's a psy-op. So this is like some—I'm sure Jean Baudrillard would have some shit to say about this one, but I've never read him. 

[07:41] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "SERF" showing an Uber Eats delivery driver.]

[07:42] JREG: Serf. This is a classic. You know, we pluck these people from third-world countries and then we give them the most like horrific jobs no honky would ever work, where they are working for like less than minimum wage because they're contractors. [Laughs] Good luck, retards! Now you have to go deliver goy-slop to honkies and you're getting paid less than minimum wage, no one's going to tip you. And then you can move back to your home country after we've—[makes squeezing motion]—squeezed all the wealth out of you! 

[08:10] JREG: That's what it's like in Canada. Maybe—I think it's different in the States, you guys got H-1Bs, they're like—they're higher caste. [Laughs] 

[08:19] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "OLIGARCH'S PLAYTHING" showing Jeffrey Epstein.]

[08:20] JREG: Okay, Oligarch's Plaything. So let's say you have a—you know someone who has a lot of money, right? If you know someone who has a lot of money, maybe they can pay you to do unspeakable things. Maybe you can be friends with them and maybe they can pay you to do unspeakable things. I've got Jeffrey Epstein over here as sort of an example. 

[08:35] JREG: If you know a guy with a lot of money and he's willing to pay you to do some unspeakable things, maybe you just be an oligarch's plaything. And this is kind of like—it's sort of like a slavery system. Like sometimes the master is really good and he's not so bad, and sometimes he's really horrible. So you want to get like a good oligarch. You want to get like one of these high-quality oligarchs that's going to treat you nice and only sort of ask you to do unspeakable things every once in a while. 

[09:00] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "SINECURE" showing a cartoon man sleeping at a desk.]

[09:01] JREG: Sinecure. Sinecure is when you're a boomer and you've been working in the government for many, many years and they can't fire you anymore. And so you just kind of—just get relaxed, you know? You don't have to do any work. You just kind of chill, just take the tax money and you just kind of chill. You could like offer to solve homelessness as a government and then you could get like 200 million dollars to solve homelessness and then you could spend most of that on six-figure salaries that don't actually address the problem at all and they don't do anything, you just kind of shuffle papers around. Get lost in the bureaucratic machine of government. 

[09:32] [visual: The screen zooms out to show the full collage again.]

[09:33] JREG: Now, okay, so look. All these all kind of sound like—some of you are probably looking at these jobs and you're thinking, "This kind of seems like kind of like bad. Like I don't know, it seems like depressing. Like the modern world seems like horrific and depressing." 

[09:41] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "CHEMICAL IMBALANCE FIXER" showing a smiling pharmacist.]

[09:42] JREG: Go to the chemical imbalance fixer. This is a top-tier job, okay? You're going to go to the chemical imbalance fixer because this is the problem, right? We have things so good right now. Things are so good! We're living in Mouse Utopia! We're living in Mouse Utopia and that's our fucking problem! Things are too good and we have too many opportunities. 

[10:06] JREG: And so because we're living in Mouse Utopia, we're all going stir-crazy, we're all going insane. And this is creating a chemical imbalance. So we don't have enough—so here's—this is how the brain works, okay? You have a brain, and there's not enough serotonin in the brain. It's like a slider, right? And sometimes you have low serotonin, you're sad! And if you have low serotonin and you're sad, that's because something's physically wrong with you. It has nothing to do with what's going on with everything I've just been saying. 

[10:29] JREG: So actually you've got low serotonin and you go to the chemical imbalance fixer, and the chemical imbalance fixer will recommend the best possible solution to that problem. And it has nothing—a lot of people say, "Oh well, they're just getting paid off by the solution company to sell you the solution." Wrong! Okay? They're going to go inside of their big brain, which they've trained—they're experts in the field! They've trained for years! And they're going to find the perfect solution for you. 

[10:57] JREG: "Ah yes, this drug will fix it." And then you'll take the drug and then you won't have the chemical imbalance anymore. And this is—it can be so varied too. Let's say you're depressed because you feel like you're going to get ground into biodiesel by an ever-increasingly complicated economy that has no more use for the human left. Then you can get on antidepressants. 

[11:18] JREG: But let's say you want to get to the top of the hierarchy that you're in. Vyvanse, Adderall, Concerta—boom! Now you're going to be—you're going to be on top of your game, you're going to be on top of the corpse heap. In fact, you might actually have to do that. You might actually have no choice but to get on Vyvanse, Concerta, Adderall in order to climb to the top of that corpse heap so that you don't get transformed into biodiesel. But we'll get to the biodiesel later. 

[11:41] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "GENOCIDE SPECIALIST" featuring a man with curly grey hair.]

[11:42] JREG: So yeah, again, this all seems a little dark. Here's a bit of a bright spot in terms of a more moral occupation: you could become a genocide specialist. 

[11:51] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "MASS-GRAVE STUFFING" showing a pit of skeletons.]

[11:52] JREG: And so the job of a genocide specialist is really—there's these groups of people we're going to call mass-grave stuffing or just kind of nuisance—like a nuisance. And they're people who are like living and breathing and they have like cultures and communities in these like areas that could be malls and they could be like asphalt and they could be cities. 

[12:12] JREG: And so what these people are doing is they're just sort of occupying the space and like living and breathing and doing very inefficient things that don't really serve the God of techno-capital at the end of time. And so basically what we gotta do is we gotta like—imagine like a big hole over here, imagine all the people are over here being like inefficient, right? And we just sort of bulldoze them into the hole and then we just sort of cover the hole over with dirt. 

[12:33] JREG: And then when the land is nice and flat: Whole Foods. Big tower. Road. And so that—because that's what—that's progress. So it's progress when you kind of just push them into a hole and you just sort of cover the hole. And so these people are very inconvenient, they're like getting in the way of the march of progress. 

[12:59] JREG: I'm making this motion because it's the same motion I make when I motion to a meat grinder that's gobbling up the bottom percentage of society and turning them into biodiesel. We're going to do that, basically. And so the genocide specialist, they're using—they're getting our top minds together and they're using AI. They're getting ChatGPT to join with the military to protect your safety. 

[13:22] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "SERVANT OF MOLOCH" showing an ancient illustration of child sacrifice.]

[13:23] JREG: Servant of Moloch. This is sort of a super—this is kind of a bigger—this is the circle that encompasses all the other jobs. The sort of a common theme here with the servant of Moloch is that you are playing a game in—if you look at it from a myopic perspective, you're winning the game. But then if you zoom out, you realize that the game you're playing, even though it's beneficial to you, is actually detrimental to the rest of the world and society and to your fellow man. 

[13:52] JREG: And so most of the games that are being created by tech are sort of these Moloch-type games where you're winning in like a—you can win if you're on enough Vyvanse to not be able to zoom out and realize what you're doing. Because like—because what you're doing is you're destroying the world, you're destroying the biosphere, you're killing your fellow man, blah blah blah blah blah. 

[14:13] JREG: So the servant of Moloch, this is kind of—no matter what job you're working in 2026, all the new jobs, they tend to have some sort of Moloch-type behavior to them. And so what you want to do is you want to just don't zoom out. Just don't zoom out. More Vyvanse, because Vyvanse kind of helps you lock in and zoom in. More Vyvanse and then—[makes zooming sound]—and then you're like, "Wow, I'm winning! This is awesome!" 

[14:39] JREG: And then someone will go up and they'll be like, "What about the biosphere? Oh, what about the mass graves?" And you just say, "Psh, relax. Relax. I'm winning! Ha ha!" And then you get to the top of the corpse pile. 

[14:50] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "HUMAN REFUSE" showing a disheveled man.]

[14:51] JREG: Okay, human refuse. Human refuse is what happens when the serf stops doing his job well enough or doesn't meet demand, or the child gambler loses all of his money. Or just—you know, this is the vast majority of people. The vast majority of people get this occupation: human refuse. You basically are sort of a waste man, you know? There's nothing to you anymore, you've sort of been drained of your soul and you're lying flat, you're a NEET, you've been forgotten by the world. 

[15:18] JREG: But don't worry! We're creating a—we're creating such an efficient society, there's a place even for human refuse. 

[15:24] [visual: The screen moves to a poster titled "BIODIESEL" showing a man in a vat of green liquid.]

[15:25] JREG: They get to become biodiesel. So we're going to turn them into biodiesel, we're just sort of going to grind them up into a mulch, maybe a Soylent-type—Soylent Green type situation. And maybe we can use their bodies to fuel the cars of people who are more efficient. If we could figure out—I mean, this is something I've been working on recently. If there was a way to sort of rip out a human soul and feed that soul into an AI to give it more energy, do you—how quickly do you think we would do that shit? Like immediately! Like it wouldn't—we wouldn't even have a day of like consultation about it. It would just be like, "Okay! [makes ripping sound]" 

[16:01] JREG: So yeah, so yeah. So yeah. 

[16:03] [visual: The screen zooms out to show the full collage of job posters.]

[16:04] JREG: So these are your options. And this is kind of important to note because tech has created all these awesome opportunities for us. And it's so easy to complain, it's so easy to whine about the negative aspects of tech. But this is simply a perspective. And we don't have to look at tech in a negative way. We can look at things in a positive way and we can be excited for the future that's ahead of us. So yeah, so pick one of these and, you know, let me know how—let me know how it goes.

[16:34] [visual: Video ends.]
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